Thursday, May 31, 2007
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
stop stealing my ideas! and my man!
over the weekend i was thinking seriously about career options. i was coming up with ideas about what i would want to do for a living if i could do anything. suddenly, i had this epiphany. i had a great idea for a website/business. i came up with a great domain name, a business plan, design ideas, advertisements, who i could network with – i basically had it all mapped out in my head. so i went to the internet and looked up my domain name to see if it was already taken, and it was, but by a company who does marketing and press releases so it wasn’t exactly the same idea. so i did a little more research (i love google) and much to my dismay, not only has my idea been taken, but it was STOLEN. i actually found a website (that i have never seen before) that looked exactly like the one i came up with in my head! even the page design was practically identical.
i’m so sick of having these great ideas only to find out that at least three companies have already done exactly what i wanted to do. this was to be my glorious escape from cubicle drudgery! and now, i’m forced to see my idea being all successful and generating revenue for somebody else. it might be only mildly disappointing if this sort of thing hasn’t happened before. but unfortunately, when you’ve been around the block a few times like I have, this is a fairly regular occurrence (no need to dredge up the incident of my original idea for an online dictionary). and this doesn’t just happen with business ideas that will make you a multimillionaire and land you a guest spot on an oprah special about ultra rich and successful entrepreneurs. it's happened in my dating life as well. too often i’ll meet a really great guy and we'll go out a few times and i'll think he's great. but then, out of nowhere, someone else steals my idea and ends up marrying him, living in my house, with my picket fence, and my dog. in the immortal words of helen hunt in "girls just wanna have fun": don’t get mad, get even.
in the immortal words of helen hunt in "girls just wanna have fun": don’t get mad, get even.
How to get even with someone who stole an idea that was
originally yours even if you can’t prove it.
Step 1: find their house using google earth.
Step 2: get a paper bag and fill it with dog poop.
Step 3: put it on the porch and light said bag on fire.
Step 4: sit back and enjoy some juvenile but sweet retribution
Step 5: immortalize revenge and possibly create new original and revenue generating idea by posting video on youtube.com
Friday, May 25, 2007
here is the perplexing list so far. (p.s. i often like to make up words and wanted to use the word, "perplexities" here. but when i looked it up at dictionary.com, i got pop-up advertisements for thestupidquiz.com, an applebees gift certificate, and an advertisement for buick. not to stereotype or anything, but that is web analytics working at it's finest!)
- why people in my ward can’t remember who i am after i’ve met them 50 times (not just my name, they literally don’t remember me). in one particular case, this guy didn’t remember me a week after we spent 45 minutes talking. in his BEDROOM. you visit amazon.com once and they remember your third-grade teacher's name.
- why anyone likes the movie "the notebook"
- why people think it’s okay to talk and/or answer their cell phone in a movie theater
- why people can’t at least drive the speed limit in
- why people think that in-n-out burgers are anything but average
- how it’s possible for a liquid, such as fruit juice, to contain fiber
- how walkie talkies work – how does the sound travel through the air to the other walkie talkie?
- why i’m suddenly one of the lucky 28 million Americans who get migraines
- why anyone would be an obsessed fan of anything; more specifically star trek, the beatles, or the crazy people who thought the grand opening of the billionth IKEA store was actually newsworthy.
- who came up with the idea that people should work 8 hours a day, five days a week starting at 8am
- why you can know something logically but feel something completely different
- how silent prayers are heard (but i know they are)
- how los hermanos is still in business (this restaurant should be listed in the phone book under "worst mexican food ever”)
Thursday, May 24, 2007
yay for may
finally! summer is almost here (minus the cold weather the last couple of days - what's up with that?). even though i grew up in
pirates! (May 25)
ikea (May 23)
taking pictures with my new digital camera!
riding my beach cruiser bike in a sundress
flip flops (actually, I wear those year round)
shave ice – the real thing with azuki beans and ice cream
eating fresh strawberries and cream at the rodeo
Friday, May 11, 2007
cubicle escape tactics
10 excuses to get out of the dreaded
2. tell your boss that you need to go to circle k to inspect the strange things that may or may not be afoot
3. 3 - 6pm is happy hour at sonic
4. "accidentally" print every document on the company shared drive forcing an outing to staples (i loooooooove shopping for office/school supplies)
5. get a wet floor sign from maintenance and tell everyone that you need to let your desk air out
6. call your office line with your cell phone and make it sound like your presence is urgently needed at the "other" office.
7. stay up all night building a time machine and set it for 4:59pm today
8. personally take on the office vermin problem by volunteering to go to home depot to get mouse traps
9. put those office supplies to good use: find a red dry-erase marker and cause a temporary small pox scare
10. schedule a meeting with the bob's
*feel free to add to the list
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
clearly i need a hobby . . .
- what digital camera should i buy – canon powershot A710 or leica c-lux?
- next or blind date?
- can sour cream substitute as mayonnaise on a turkey sandwich?
(fyi - no)
- caffiene-free diet coke or diet coke with lime?
- cheddar or muenster?
- did sean hannity or rocky
win the debate? anderson
(what debate? weren’t they both just loving the attention and arguing their own agendas?)
- which show needs to die – american idol or the bachelor?
- burger supreme or bajio?
(i take this one back – surely the answer will cause the universe to implode)
- costco or walmart?
(pshaw! just checking to see if you were paying attention)
- "cheap" gasoline ($3.02) from flying j or maverick?
- are mormons (aka latter-day saints) christian?
(is the dictionary a worthy source of definitions? if the definition of a christian is: of, pertaining to, or derived from Jesus Christ or His teachings. . ., then I give you an end to the ridiculous-waste-of-time-mind-numbing-yet-never-ending argument, that YES latter-day saints are most definitely christian)
- does al sharpton owe mitt romney an apology?
(al sharpton answers to no one, apparently, but it wouldn’t hurt the self-proclaimed reverend to start to practicing what he "preaches")
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
the curious incident of the skirt at the gas pumps
after lunch, lori called as i was driving back to work. just then, i noticed that my gas tank was on empty. as i pull into the gas station and get out of the car (still talking on the phone), a huge gust of wind blows up my skirt and lifts it up practically around my waist. i wish i could have been the innocent by-stander for that one, but it had to be hilarious to watch me try to wrestle down my skirt and talk on the phone all at the same time. i thought i had things under control as i was filling up the tank, but alas, the same pervy gust of wind caught me off guard again and gave everyone at the pumps a good show.
that will teach me to wear a billowy skirt on a windy spring day.