when i was a freshman in college, i used to watch this show called "Mystery Science Theater 3000" on the Sci-Fi channel. if any of you are not familiar with the genius that is MST3K, i invite you to start now. there was a group of us that would skip class to watch it - college tuition well spent. i had a group of friends that would get together and watch it on the weekends. sometimes i wonder if it was the show itself or the complex witty humor from each member of the group that made it worth skipping creative writing (tribute: mike and mark - two of the funniest guys i've ever known. best line: "let's just not talk for a while.").
the show was canceled in 1999, much to my dismay. sometimes you can find reruns on comedy central and you can rent some of them at the video store. it never fails to make me laugh. out loud. some of the best episodes are prince of space, MST 3000: the movie, the creeping terror, pod people, horror at party beach, mitchell, and cave dwellers.
i had a huge crush on mike the janitor. he is everything a girl wants - funny, cute, smart, resourceful, even tempered, sweet, good attitude in even the worst situations, has a great smile, wears a jumpsuit and is just the right amount of desperate after a few years of space imprisonment.
best movie lines (the phrase, "guess you had to be there" kind of goes without saying, but if you kind of squint whilst you read, it's still funny):
"all you can eat ME tonight."
"special agent sweetheart."
"officer third wheel."
"i don't like slumber parties now that i'm in my forties."
"allow me to knee you right in the groin."
"drink it all. sometimes the poison's at the bottom."
"let me throw a gay man at you."
"why does he have to kill them to prove his point? can't he just show them a pie chart or something?"
"who is this gentle stranger with pecs like melons and knees of fringe?"
"it's speedy delivery guy, and boy does he have a package!"
(referring to the muscle bound/beefcake main character on space mutiny:) "it's butch deadlift! splint chesthair! blast hardcheese! dirk hardpeck! blast thickneck! big mclargehuge!"
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p.s. feel free to make fun of what a nerd i am.
michael j. nelson.com
random MST3K quotes