Thursday, March 23, 2006

Jack Bauer, you're my hero

Is everyone ready for May 9th (Jack Bauer appreciation day)? You've got your streamers ready for decorating, cupcakes ready for frosting, and alleged terrorists tied up in the basement waiting for interrogation? If you Google “Jack Bauer” you get over 12 million hits. This just shows how crazy addictive the show is – and how much everyone loves Jack. I’m not going to lie to you - this show is pure awesomeness. I am a big fan of Kiefer Sutherland – always have been. So why I waited until the 5th season to start watching one of the greatest TV shows ever conceived by man, I’ll never know.

Luckily, it is never too late to start showing some appreciation to Jack Bauer. The show is amazing in it’s capacity to seem very real – and the way it’s filmed often makes you feel as if you are a secret agent spying on the president from behind the bushes or peeking around the corner at CTU. It’s the most engaging TV show I’ve ever been privileged to witness. And I thank my lucky stars every day for Jack Bauer. America would have been destroyed at least 5 times by now if not for Jack. I will be appreciating Jack on May 9th like a true red-blooded American should. Here is a list of facts about Jack Bauer that you may not know about (just be grateful that you didn’t have to verify these facts – the last person that tried hasn’t been seen since).


Jack Bauer has counted to infinity. Twice.

In order to control illegal immigration in the United States, the president installed cardboard cutouts of Jack Bauer along the US/Mexico border.

Upon hearing that he was played by Kiefer Sutherland, Jack Bauer killed him. Jack Bauer gets played by no man.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Jack Bauer shops at Costco . . . without a membership.

Jack Bauer's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Jacktatorship.

For more facts about Jack, visit

Friday, March 3, 2006


take notes people:

a dollar three eightyfive - nonsensical price for when one does not want to give the real price.
example: how much do i make an hour? a dollar three eightyfive.

absonotly - used when the intent is to most definitely decline in no uncertain terms
example: i will absonotly share my fries, thanks

barbofsky - huge mustaches or people that wear them.
example: my uncle still rocks the short o.p. cord shorts and barbofsky a la magnum p.i.

broke - extremely fugly.
example: whoa, that hairless dog is broke!

budget - anything cheap looking.
example: that waffle house on state is strictly budget, but it's good.

carbon - to copy
example: i finally carboned that cd for you.

charp - the one green mutant chip found at the bottom of every bag.