stop stealing my ideas! and my man!

over the weekend i was thinking seriously about career options. i was coming up with ideas about what i would want to do for a living if i could do anything. suddenly, i had this epiphany. i had a great idea for a website/business. i came up with a great domain name, a business plan, design ideas, advertisements, who i could network with – i basically had it all mapped out in my head. so i went to the internet and looked up my domain name to see if it was already taken, and it was, but by a company who does marketing and press releases so it wasn’t exactly the same idea. so i did a little more research (i love google) and much to my dismay, not only has my idea been taken, but it was STOLEN. i actually found a website (that i have never seen before) that looked exactly like the one i came up with in my head! even the page design was practically identical.

i’m so sick of having these great ideas only to find out that at least three companies have already done exactly what i wanted to do. this was to be my glorious escape from cubicle drudgery! and now, i’m forced to see my idea being all successful and generating revenue for somebody else. it might be only mildly disappointing if this sort of thing hasn’t happened before. but unfortunately, when you’ve been around the block a few times like I have, this is a fairly regular occurrence (no need to dredge up the incident of my original idea for an online dictionary). and this doesn’t just happen with business ideas that will make you a multimillionaire and land you a guest spot on an oprah special about ultra rich and successful entrepreneurs. it's happened in my dating life as well. too often i’ll meet a really great guy and we'll go out a few times and i'll think he's great. but then, out of nowhere, someone else steals my idea and ends up marrying him, living in my house, with my picket fence, and my dog. in the immortal words of helen hunt in "girls just wanna have fun": don’t get mad, get even.

How to get even with someone who stole an idea that was
originally yours even if you can’t prove it.

Step 1: find their house using google earth.

Step 2: get a paper bag and fill it with dog poop.

Step 3: put it on the porch and light said bag on fire.

Step 4: sit back and enjoy some juvenile but sweet retribution

Step 5: immortalize revenge and possibly create new original and revenue generating idea by posting video on youtube.com