Thursday, January 3, 2008

Lately I have been struggling to figure life out - what do I want to be when I grow up? What kind of life do I want to create for myself? I used to believe that life was handed to you by a series of events - most of them difficult or painful (believe me, I've had my share and I'm still trying to work through the "searing emotional pain", as Lori's family would call it). But recently I've discovered that you can build the kind of life you have always wanted. The key to that is to accept the things you cannot control (which are many) and to do the things that make you happy and find ways to recognize the good things. I always thought the whole Oprah-esque "gratitude journal" idea too cheesy for me, but you can meditate each day on what makes life beautiful and enjoyable. I have found that by letting my thoughts be positive and reflecting often on the good things in my life or the good things I've accomplished helps me build the kind of life I want rather than think I have no control over my circumstances. I love this quote by Julie Beck from the May 2007 Ensign:
"It is not possible to make real change all by ourselves. Our own willpower and our own good intentions are not enough. When we make mistakes or choose poorly, we must have the help of our Savior to get back on track. We partake of the sacrament week after week to show our faith in His power to change us. We confess our sins and promise to forsake them (see D&C 58:43 and Moroni 7:33-37)."
I understand now that trying to figure things out on my own was a poor choice - given that I will never know what I need in my life more than Jesus Christ; my Savior, brother and friend. It's impossible to describe what letting myself pray for help and then believing I will receive help has done for me. But I thought I would share the words that have become so meaningful and inspiring to me as I try to live and love and learn and become the best possible version of who I really am; and in my quest to discover what I am meant to accomplish.


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