Wednesday, February 8, 2006

pleasure doing business with ya

And thus begins my ventures into the wonderful world of ebay . . .

Did you know you can sell stuff for money on ebay? It's true! They should tell people about this! It's amazing! For example - you can have, oh, say a pair boots that you bought on a whim two years ago. They weren't exactly what you wanted, but the ones you did want were 1/2 size too small and you can't exactly walk out of Last Chance empty handed! So let's just say, for the sake of argument, that the boots have potential. They are the right color, they are the right size, they go almost to your knee, the left one might make a tiny squeaking noise when you walk, but they are boots! Everyone needs boots! Then let's just pretend that you want to wear them - but every time you put them on, you can't get the zipper more than halfway up because of your bulging calves. There's nothing like tall, skinny boots that forces one to admit and then despize the sheer size of one's lower leg. Life officially sucks at this point.

You might think to yourself, "I'll take them to the shoe repair shop - they can stretch out the leather!" But it will do you no good, no good at all. Your calves will still spill over the stretched boot leather like muffin tops. As the circulation drains from your legs and your feet go numb, it occurs to you - let's face it, these boots were just not meant for me (and my rhino calves). Then you hear about ebay. You sign up, you log on, and cash magically appears in your wallet 5 days later! Now, do not be discouraged and get depressed when no one immediatly bids on your boots. It's amazing how you start to compare yourself with your unwanted and unpopular item up for bid. Here come the auction snipers! These people wait for the last minute of an auction to strike. After a short bidding frenzy, you have a cool $30. I am hooked. Forget charity - I'm going to ebay!


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