Monday, August 25, 2008

No place to be . . .

I was listening to Matisyahu the other day and realized that the title of his last album fit my life perfectly right now. I decided to move from the place I've been living for three years - it was a complicated decision. In truth, the list of pro's and con's was about equal, but in the end, I decided to find a new place to live. I suspected that there was mold in the basement since it floods every time it rains or even when the sprinklers turn on, but the management company wouldn't do anything about it, so I decided to give up my one mile commute and lunch-at-home lifestyle for something else, something better. However, I picked a bad time to move - every apartment I've looked at was both a) completely unfit for living and b) had 300 other people fighting for it. What is up with Utah County? I see listings for decent studio apartments all the time in SLC, but in the UC, they are few and far between and anything that isn't mold/bug/rot/crazy roommate infested is taken within five minutes of being listed (rarely for less than $700). Just what kind of salary is everyone else in the valley making? Is everyone else loaded and I missed the salary gravy bunny (at our house, gravy comes in a bunny serving dish that is my favorite)? I am confused - last time I job hunted around here, the salary range was not that great. How is it that I have a master's degree and I can't afford a decent place to live on my own - or is that too much to ask for?

Add onto all that a strange emotional factor that seems to have come out of nowhere. After months of searching and trying to decide if I can handle living with roommates because of inflated rent, I realized that I don't really belong anywhere. I have this urge to nest and settle down but the truth is, I have no place to be. I don't want to live the rest of my life in a dingy basement in a college town I don't belong in, and I will never be able to afford to live where I want on the low salary of a job I love. This is ridiculous - I have nothing to tie me down and I could move to Malta if I wanted to, yet I feel like if I did, I would just want to come back home. Except that I don't HAVE a home.

I realize every choice in life comes with some sacrifices - but do they have to be such important ones? If you had to choose one:
  • Sanity - give up any and all amenities in order to afford a place to live (no more Sonic Happy Hour - nooooooo!)
  • Health (would you like mold with that affordable rental?)
  • Social life (I always end up with roommates that are all up in my business)
  • Privacy (i.e. total isolation in Spinsterville)
Which one would you choose?


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